Things That Make You Go Hmmmm

Much like the countdown to Christmas, there was a countdown to the new (and first!) H&M store at the city mall. For two months shoppers got to look longingly at the humungo posters announcing its big reveal date.

Now I had never been in an H&M store before. I had no idea the wonders that awaited me. How many times had I spotted a need-to-have outfit in Glamour only to learn the outfit was available exclusively at H&M? Too many times. Or so my therapist will tell you.

The grand opening was taking place during our honeymoon. But in true Erika-style, I creatively (and carefully) arranged for us to be back in the city by then.

I was giddy when we got to the mall. I had to wait no more. Finally new and exciting fashions were a credit card swipe away. Security was tight. "Guards" were posted at each of the entrances. One of them gave me the twice-over. Sure, I was carrying a bag big enough to stow a small child. But seriously, does this look like the face of a shoplifter? *Gives innocent hot chick look.* Exactly.

I strolled around the store. Real nonchalant like. All the while I was screaming "Yes! Yes! Yes!" like a retail orgasmic Megan Ryan. And then it hit me. Wait a minute. Wait just a @#$*ing minute. This is IT? These are the clothes I've been lusting for? This can't be. I hunkered down, and went hunting. Maybe I just wasn't paying close enough attention. I'm sure the cool clothes were right in front of me.

Then I spotted it. A cute shirt. FINALLY! I casually sauntered up to it. Ran my fingers over the collar and down the sleeve. Now this is more like it. And then I looked up...what the @#$*? I was in the Maternity section. Maybe, just maybe I could pull it off. Not look pregnant or anything, but make a maternity shirt seem less maternity, and more mama mia.

Or not.