Tuesday, April 20, 2010

What The Cuss?

I got a call tonight from my nephew Zach (age 14). He and I are always playing pranks. And by pranks, I mean calling each other using bad fake accents trying to trick one another. Unfortunately, my British accent sounds like a lot like my Chinese accent. And last week, my Australian accent tanked like a 5-day old bran muffin. I knew I had to get creative.

Zach: [something incoherent and teenagery]
Me: "Hello?"
Zach: "Uh, hi Erika, it's me."
Me: "Hello?"
Zach: "Erika!"
Me: 'Hello...is anyone there?"
Zach: "Arg, Erika. It's me."
Me: "Hello...I can't hear you?"
Zach: [louder] "ERIKA CAN YOU HEAR ME?"
Me: "Yes Zach, I can hear you. You don't need to scream."

I like getting calls from Zach. Mainly because I love him, but also to test out some new comedy material. Zach has a great sense of humor (he gets that from me).

I told him about my new favorite movie - the Fantastic Mr. Fox and my latest catch phrase, "What the cuss?"

Zach: "Huh?"
Me: "You know, instead of what the !@#$ you say what the cuss. Cuss is another word for swear (kids these days, so uncultured). "What the cuss" can work in so many instances, I've been using it at least 5 times a day."
Zach: "I still perfer "What the deuce."
Me: "Yeah, I use them interchangeably."
Zach: "So guess what, I'm grounded for months and months."
Me: "What did you do now?"
Zach: "Nothing, I just forgot to empty the dishwasher...once."
Me: "Zachhhhhhh."
Zach: "Yeah, it's true. I lost my PSP. So I told my Dad, well if you're taking that, I'm taking your TV. And Dad said, you can't something away from someone when they paid for it. So I said, Dad, I paid for my PSP. And then he said, well it only applies to adults."
Me: "Sounds like you were winning that argument."
Zach: "Yeah, well, I'm still grounded."
Me: "Don't worry, I'll put in a good word for you."

And I will (are you reading this Kiki?). If not, I'll have to make a call.

In addition to being funny, I also like to take pity on Zach. Not only because that's just the kind of good person I am, but also to ensure that I am his number #1 cool aunt (sorry Amy). I am not dissuaded by the fact that Zach only has two aunts. I am that competitive.

I wonder when my other nephew whats-his-name gets bigger (he's only 3) will we have the same kind of great relationship Zac and I do? And even better, I'll have another chance to be the #1 aunt (sorry Amy)!


Give a dick? Then say something!