Saturday, January 9, 2010

Mind Your Mouth

Instead of reaching for my usual bottle of Boost yesterday at lunch, I opted to dash across the street from my office building to "Sounds like Tubway" for a wrap.

I was greeted by the usual "Sounds like Tubway" guy who is always in one of only two possible moods: mysteriously brooding, or fun and flirty. As soon as I saw him, I knew which mood it was going to be. He wearing a black button shirt (which I'm sure is not part of the standard-issue Tubway uniform); the collar was popped, and there was major Saturday Night Fever decolletage happening. Wait, is that a GOLD CHAIN?

I couldn't look, and I couldn't turn away. Just. Order. Something.

So, I ordered my usual chicken bacon ranch wrap. Cheese, yup (shredded). Veggies, yup (lettuce, onion, tomatoes, green pepper, pickles). When "Sounds Like Tubway" guy is in a brooding mood, he puts on a little bit of veggies, despite pleas for "more more more". When "Sounds Like Tubway" guy is in a fun and flirty mood, he puts on lots AND LOTS of veggies. Enough that if you were eating a sandwich as your only meal that day before a weekend of love-making it would be enough to sustain you. We're talking VEGGIES.

Bit of pepper. Almost done, minimal talking to avoid mentioning something about the chestfest happening at eye level.

And then...the sauce.

When "Sounds Like Tubway" guy is in a brooding mood, he puts on lots of sauce, despite pleas for "just a little bit." When "Sounds like Tubway" guy is in a fun and flirty mood, he puts on lots AND LOTS of sauce, despite pleas for "just a little bit".

Me: "Woa, guy. You're squirting that sauce all over the place. I like it saucy but not THAT much."
OMG did I just SAY that?
Tubway Guy: [smiles]
Ok, be cool. Pretend you did not just say that.

He rolls up my wrap. It's so full of veggies, it barely closes.

Me: "That's so big, how am I going to fit it all in my mouth?"
OMG did I just SAY that?
Tubway Guy: [winks]

I pay for my wrap and dash back across the street. How will I fit it in my mouth indeed, what with my foot in there and all.

3 comments:

  1. Lmao... I love it. Well done Erika.

    ReplyDelete
  2. nice, you still know how to flirt? Goodness, I need to get out more.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Barb: Thanks...I think ;)

    Kiki: Yes, dear sister, you do need to get out more.

    ReplyDelete

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