Showing posts with label TFIF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TFIF. Show all posts

Friday, October 2, 2009

Crotch Rot

I woke up in the AM and with my eyes still shut tight, asked Paul "Is it Friday yet?" 
"Yes" he replied. Which was cruel because that was yesterday morning, when it was still only Thursday.

But today it really really is Friday. And how can I tell? I was enjoying my second morning coffee until I missed my mouth and spilled coffee all over my crotch. Not once...but twice. Clean up on aisle lap #7

Now instead of looking like the put-together-girl of the office, I resemble the peed-her-pants-girl of the office. No offense Lisa.

Is it just me, but are Fridays sometimes Mondays in disguise? Oh? Just me then. Damn.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Junkie

Lately, I have realized something. And it's major. *Takes deep breath*

I. Am. A. Junkie.

And my insatiable craving of choice...Jelly beans. Sweet sugary colorful little jelly beans.

Sure, sure laugh it up. I did at first. Personally, I blame "sounds like Toppers Hug Mart", our local drug store. How ironic is that my addiction to Jelly Beans started in a drug store? That was a rhetorical question.

Anyhoo, "sounds like Toppers Hug Mart" was having a sale on Jelly Beans (or as they are known on the street, JB). It was $0.99 CDN for a bag. So I bought one.

It was so good. I savoured every bean (except the black ones, no offense, but I've never cared for the taste of black licorice much). I ate the whole bag in one afternoon. Sure, sure, I shared some with my coworkers. After all, if I'm packing on the pounds, I want them right along with me for the ride. Yeah, I'm thoughtful like that.

I told myself I ate the whole bag because I needed the sugar to get through the rest of the afternoon at work. But the same thing happened the next day. I told myself it's just because they are on sale, once the sale's over, I'll quit the JB, cold turkey.

That was 2 months ago. They're still on sale (now down to $0.79). And they got me hooked. Buying just one bag doesn't do it for me anymore, I have to buy two bags just to get that same sugar rush feeling.

I realized my habit was becoming a problem when I started to feel embarrassed taking a bag of Jelly Beans up to the cash register each and every day. I wondered if the "sounds like Toppers Hug Mart" employees whispered about me behind my back [here she is again boys, the Jelly Bean girl]. Cashiers can be so cruel.

Then I started to see who was working at the cash before taking my purchase up. Was it the same guy as yesterday? Monday? I felt relief when it was someone completely different. They wouldn't judge me. Me and my Jelly Beans.

After a while that stopped working. Every cashier at the store knew my little secret. So, I started buying other things to accompany my JB bag purchase. Sure, I didn't need deodorant that day, but I would need it some day, right? I didn't exactly need that can of tuna, or can of bug spray either (it's 15 C here in Canada right now, all the bugs are dead). But I'd need those items some day, right?

I said right?

I even started eating the black jelly beans. I couldn't bare to throw them out anymore. And you know what, now I like them too. Once you go black, you never go back.

Yes, I know, I have a problem. My name is Erika, and I'm a Jelly Bean eater.